Bandages for Your Heart - Feel Better Now: A Simple 6-Step Guide to Healing After a Loss

Bandages for Your Heart
Feel Better Now: A Simple 6-Step Guide to Healing After a Loss

I have spent years studying and sharing healing techniques to help ease the daily pain that accompanies loss. Although coping with grief may feel overwhelming, these 6 tools can offer emotional support, provide comfort, and help you rebuild hope after heartache.

Here are six steps to help you navigate grief and make it through each day:

1. Rally the Troops
   Reach out to family and friends—let them know what has happened. Their love and support will sustain you. Their calls, messages, and presence can help you get through not just the day, but even the next few minutes. Tell them what you need, and be willing to forgive any well-meaning but unhelpful advice. Accept their words as coming from a place of love, then let them go.
2. Check In with Yourself
   Ask yourself throughout the day, “How am I feeling at this moment?” Tune in to your emotions—not what you think you should feel, but what you truly feel. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and listen to your heart. You may be surprised to find moments of peace or even joy amid the sorrow. Grief isn’t constant heaviness; allowing yourself to acknowledge lighter moments can be healing.                                              When people grieve, they tend to shut down. They stuff their feelings and wear a mask. There is a perception that others don’t want to witness our pain, so it is simpler to just act as if we are okay.   This can be exhausting both physically and mentally.  By getting back in touch with your feelings, it allows you to “check in” and understand where you are at. 
3. Breathe
   The simplest way to center yourself and reduce anxiety is through deep breathing. Shallow “stress breathing” moves only the upper chest, while deep belly breathing engages the diaphragm, calming the nervous system. Take slow, full breaths, focusing on the inhale and exhale. Let each breath bring you into the present moment, free from past regrets or future worries.
4. Write it Out
   Journaling allows you to release emotions and process thoughts. Write freely—no need to edit or censor yourself. Document your memories, pain, and daily experiences. Write down your thoughts about the future. As time passes, looking back on older entries can reveal the progress you’ve made. Words are powerful tools for healing, and putting your feelings on paper can lighten your emotional load.
5. Laugh Daily
   Laughter reduces stress, boosts your immune system, gets your brain working, and lifts your mood. Watch a funny show, listen to a comedian, or spend time with lighthearted friends. Even if you don’t feel like laughing, do it anyway, fake laughter can still trigger real benefits. It’s impossible to be both anxious and laughing at the same time, so embrace joy, even in small moments.
6. Engage in Your Passions
   Doing something you love helps diminish pain. While some activities may carry bittersweet memories, engaging in them can still bring comfort. When you are “in the zone” time stops and things flow.  If you’re unsure what sparks joy for you, explore new interests. Make a list of things that uplift you—reading, nature walks, gardening, time with pets or grandchildren. These passions form your personal “spiritual toolbox” to draw from in difficult moments.

Believe it or not, joy is still within reach. These six simple practices can help reconnect you with inner happiness. No matter where you are on your grief journey, you can take small steps toward healing. Connect with others, embrace your emotions, breathe deeply, write, laugh, and live. As James Russell Lowell said, “Joy comes, grief goes, we know not how.”

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This article is offered as part of our funeral home’s grief support program. The author, Nancy Weil, is a Certified Grief Management Specialist. You are invited to join our virtual Healing Hearts grief support group, facilitated by Nancy twice a month on Zoom. Please contact our funeral home for more information.