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How to Arrange a Funeral: A Step-by-Step Guide for Families

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 18:50:08 GMT

Need to plan a funeral? We're here to help.

Losing someone you love is one of life’s hardest moments. And yet, within hours or days of that loss, families are asked to make decisions they’ve never had to make before — about things most of us have little experience with and never expected to face so soon.

It doesn’t have to feel overwhelming.

If you’re wondering how to arrange a funeral, here’s a straightforward look at what the arrangement process involves, so you can walk in feeling informed and supported rather than anxious and uncertain.

What is the First Step in Arranging a Funeral?

Everything begins with a phone call.

Whether the death occurred at home, a hospital, or a care facility, a licensed funeral director will guide your very first steps — including the safe and dignified transfer of your loved one into our care.

You don’t need to have anything figured out before you call. You don’t need to know what kind of service you want or what questions to ask. That’s exactly what we’re here for.

Once your loved one has been brought into care, the formal planning process begins.

Step 1: The Arrangement Conference

Within a day or two, you’ll meet with a funeral director for what’s known as the arrangement conference — a guided, unhurried conversation designed to help your family make decisions that truly reflect who your loved one was. Plan for this meeting to last between one and two hours.

Getting to Know Your Loved One

The conference begins not with forms, but with a conversation about the person you’ve lost. Your funeral director will ask about their family, career, military service, hobbies, faith, and community memberships. This becomes the foundation for the obituary, the tribute, and the service itself.

Decedent Care

From there, the conversation shifts to the care of your loved one’s remains. Burial or cremation is typically the first and most foundational decision. Your funeral director will explain every option clearly and without pressure.

Step 2: Planning the Service

With care decisions settled, the focus turns to the service itself. Will there be a visitation? A funeral service? A graveside gathering? A celebration of life? There is no single right answer — your funeral director will help you find what fits your family and honors your loved one.

Receptions and Hospitality

One of the most meaningful things a family can do after a service is simply be together. Receptions give family and friends the time and space to share memories, offer support, and grieve as a community. Hospitality options range from light refreshments and coffee to a full catered meal — and personal touches like a favorite dish can spark exactly the kind of remembrance that matters most.

Creating a Fitting Tribute

Your funeral director will help you build the details that make the service personal:

Music
Readings
Photo tributes
Symbolic gestures
Meaningful keepsakes.

The goal is a service that genuinely reflects the person you lost.

Step 3: Handling the Practical Details

Toward the end of the conference, your funeral director will guide you through the practical details, including:

Writing and publishing the obituary
Ordering death certificates
Coordinating with the cemetery
Reviewing any available veterans’ benefits
Completing required documentation

In experienced hands, these don’t need to feel burdensome.

Step 4: Understanding Costs and Options

Funeral homes are required by federal law to provide a written General Price List. A good funeral director will walk you through every cost openly and honestly. You are in control of every decision. Ask questions, share your budget, and take the time you need.

What Information Do You Need to Arrange a Funeral?

You don’t need to arrive with everything figured out — but a few things help:

Full legal name
Date of birth
Social Security number
Military discharge papers (DD-214), if applicable.
Known wishes
Questions you want answered

It’s also helpful to bring a support person – someone who can help listen, remember details, and ask questions alongside you.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

You are not expected to have the answers before you walk through the door. A compassionate funeral director will meet you exactly where you are and guide you through every decision with patience and care.

Arranging a funeral is one of the most profound acts of love a family can offer. It is the last gift you give — a moment set apart to honor a life, gather the people who mattered, and begin the journey of healing together. With the right support, it can be exactly that.

Have questions about the arrangement process? Our team is here to help — before, during, and after your time of need. We’d be honored to serve your family.

Frequently Asked Questions About Arranging a Funeral

Do I have to make decisions right away?

No. While some steps begin shortly after death, you typically have time to consider your options and make thoughtful decisions.

Can I plan a funeral without knowing my loved one’s wishes?

Yes. Many families do. A funeral director can help guide you toward choices that reflect your loved one’s life and values.

Can we have a service if we choose cremation?

Yes. Cremation and meaningful services are not mutually exclusive. Many families choose to hold a visitation, memorial, or celebration of life.

Is embalming required?

No. Embalming is not always required and depends on the type of service and timing.

Bandages for Your Heart - Grief Changes You: And It's Okay

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 12:36:21 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart - Grief Changes You: And It's Okay

When someone you love dies, the version of you that existed before their loss fades away. You don’t come out of grief the same person who went into it. Friends and family might say, “I just want the old you back,” not realizing that version of you no longer exists. That “you” changed the moment your loved one took their last breath.

Grief reshapes us—and while it's deeply painful, it can also bring about unexpected growth. Through conversations with many who’ve walked this path, I’ve heard time and again how loss changes them. Some changes are hard. Others, surprisingly, are for the better. Here are just a few ways grief can transform us:

It’s like living in a fog: In the early days of grief, it often feels like you’re walking through a dense fog. Everything is muted. The world continues to spin, but you feel frozen in time. The void left behind is immense, and the ache of missing your loved one is constant. While this fog eventually lifts, it never fully disappears. Certain moments, dates, or memories can bring it rushing back without warning.
A Different Kind of Joy: At first, it may feel like happiness is gone forever. But eventually, joy does return—it just looks and feels different. It’s quieter, deeper, and often tinged with a bittersweet edge. You learn to carry joy and sorrow side by side.
Relearning Self-Care: If you were a caregiver, your own needs likely took a back seat. Now, with your loved one gone, you may finally have space to care for yourself. For others, the pain can be so heavy that self-care feels pointless. But grief demands energy—physical, emotional, spiritual—and meeting your needs is not selfish. It’s survival. Now is the time for radical, unapologetic self-care.
Friendships Change: Grief has a way of revealing who’s truly there for you. Some people you expected to lean on may drift away—they might not know how to handle your pain or feel uncomfortable with your sorrow. Others, sometimes unexpectedly, show up in meaningful ways. Try not to hold resentment for those who can’t meet you in your grief. Instead, cherish those who do. Let them walk with you.
Letting Go of Little Things: After experiencing such a profound loss, the small irritations that used to bother you just... don’t. Traffic jams, long lines, petty drama—they pale in comparison to what you’ve endured. You see life differently now, and you begin to focus only on what truly matters.
Savoring the Moment: You understand, in a way others might not, that life can change in an instant. This realization pushes you to appreciate small, quiet moments—morning coffee, a sunset, a hug. You don’t take those things for granted anymore.
Shifting Priorities: Grief often reshuffles your to-do list. The dishes can wait. What matters more now is time spent with people you love, or moments of peace and reflection. You begin choosing what nurtures your heart, not just what fills your calendar.
Rediscovering or Exploring Hobbies: Many people find themselves drawn to new interests or returning to long-forgotten passions. Whether it’s painting, hiking, gardening, or dancing—it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it brings a sense of purpose or joy. These activities don’t erase grief, but they can offer comfort, distraction, or even healing.
Asking for Help – If your partner or loved one handled certain things, their absence might leave you feeling unsure or overwhelmed. You might hesitate to ask for help, worried about being a burden. But now is the time to let others in. Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s an act of courage and connection. Let people love you in this way.
Inner Strength: Perhaps the most profound c hange people report is realizing how strong they truly are. You didn’t ask for this, and yet here you are—showing up, getting through each day, learning how to carry your loss. That strength was always within you. Now, it’s rising to the surface. It is one of grief’s quiet gifts.

Grief will change you. That’s not a failure—it’s a testament to your love. You’re not meant to “go back to normal.” You're meant to find your way forward, carrying the memory of your loved one with you as you grow, heal, and live again.

And it’s okay—more than okay—that you’re not the same.

Bandages for Your Heart - Your Spiritual Toolbox: Everyday Activities for Grief Recovery

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:32:30 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Your Spiritual Toolbox: Everyday Activities for Grief Recovery

A Riddle: Everyone has one. It has taken your entire life to create. Yet, you don’t always use it when you most need it. What is it? Your spiritual toolbox.

What is a spiritual toolbox? It is a collection of activities that bring you comfort and motivation. For some, reading a spiritual book or exercising always lifts their spirits. For others, shopping or chopping wood provides the boost they need to overcome a tough moment. Creating your own personal list of ways to feel better is a great step toward emotional well-being. Notice that it’s not about waiting until you feel better to take action but rather taking action in order to feel better. Grief can paralyze you, creating inertia that makes even small steps feel overwhelming. However, when the action required is something you already enjoy, it becomes easier to begin.

In my programs, we brainstorm lists of activities that people want to include in their spiritual toolbox. Here are ten of the most popular (not in any particular order):

Exercise
Reading uplifting books
Listening to music
Prayer
Spending time with friends and family
Journaling
Shopping
Watching a funny movie or television show
Knitting or other crafts
Playing with a pet

Each of these activities helps shift your focus from the pain of grief, redirecting your energy toward comfort and even joy. Some of these ideas may appeal to you, while others might not. That’s okay. Take a moment to write down your personal list of activities that help you feel better.

Once your list is complete, take a moment to set it in your mind. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Begin to visualize what your toolbox looks like. There are no rules—people have envisioned everything from a Craftsman toolbox to a wicker basket, a shopping bag, or even an upside-down hat! Let your toolbox appear in your mind naturally. Once you see it, mentally place each of the items from your list inside. If needed, have someone read your list to you, record it and play it back, or simply peek at your list before continuing the visualization. Once everything is in the toolbox, impress upon your heart that these resources are always available to you whenever you need them.

The final step involves preparation and action. Download, purchase, or subscribe to a streaming music service so your favorite songs are readily available. Visit the library or bookstore or download an app to have books at your fingertips. Make plans to go out with friends. Add funny television shows or movies to your watchlist so they are easy to access when you need a good laugh.

Every day, choose something from your list and make time to do it. There may be moments when tears flow as you read a meaningful passage or watch a movie you once enjoyed with a loved one. Honor these tears, they help you cherish the good times. Your spiritual toolbox is a tool for healing, not forgetting. It allows you to connect with your loved one, your Higher Power, and most importantly, with yourself.

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This article is offered as part of our funeral home’s grief support program. The author, Nancy Weil, is a Certified Grief Management Specialist. You are invited to join our virtual Healing Hearts grief support group, facilitated by Nancy twice a month on Zoom. Please contact our funeral home for more information.

Bandages for Your Heart - Misery Loves Company: How Grief Support Groups Help

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:25:58 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Misery Loves Company: How Grief Support Groups Help

These three words not only define why a grief support group is important, but they also explain why some people avoid attending one.

While being with others who share a similar experience can be incredibly helpful, what actually happens during a meeting is often not what people expect. Most support groups are not just places where people “sit around and tell sad stories.” Instead, each session provides an opportunity for participants to share how they are navigating their grief, discuss challenges they are facing, and celebrate small victories along the way. The facilitator weaves these stories together, helping attendees gain wisdom and perspective from one another. Laughter and tears are both welcome, as each plays a role in the healing process.

Support can be offered in person, over the phone, or virtually through platforms like Zoom. The method of connection is less important than the shared experience itself. Healing occurs as attendees learn practical tools to navigate their grief—whether through breathing techniques, strategies for coping with loneliness, or insights from others who truly understand their pain. Facilitators and group members alike provide guidance, ensuring that no one feels lost or alone in their journey.

Many grieving individuals struggle to find understanding from friends and family who simply cannot relate to their loss. A support group, however, offers a sanctuary where emotions and thoughts can be freely expressed, without judgment. Here, everyone is heard, valued, and supported by those who truly understand the depth of their sorrow.

Grief can be an isolating experience, but coming together with others helps ease that burden. Within a grief support group, something special happens—a quiet kind of magic. When the session ends, each person leaves knowing they are not alone. They carry the love, support, and prayers of the group with them. No one should have to grieve alone, and in a grief support group, both mourning and healing find their rightful place.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Living Your Legacy: Honoring Memories and Finding Purpose

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:17:27 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Living Your Legacy: Honoring Memories and Finding Purpose

When we hear the word “legacy,” we often think of something grand or powerful. Rarely do we consider it to be the small, everyday actions—the way we treat others and the values we uphold. Yet, when we remember those we have loved and lost, these are exactly the things that stand out. It is the ordinary moments that become cherished memories. The stories of their lives form a lasting legacy, passed down through generations.

We recall their journeys—perhaps immigrating through Ellis Island to build a new life in America. We think of how they earned a living, the hobbies they enjoyed, their sense of humor, their cooking, their love for golf or bowling, and the countless little things that made them who they were. Their essence remains, inspiring us with how they faced adversity, treated others, and embraced life.

As Robert Frost said, “I can sum up everything I know about life in three words… it goes on.” And it does. In times of grief or overwhelm, it may seem impossible to regain the energy to move forward—but we must. Each day is an opportunity to shape our own legacy. We can live in a way that inspires those around us. We can learn new things and take up new activities. We can love our family and friends and conduct ourselves in a compassionate manner towards all who come our way.

Mother Teresa once said, “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” There is no greater legacy than that.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Laughter in the Face of Tears: How Humor Helps in Grief Recovery

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:00:08 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Laughter in the Face of Tears: How Humor Helps in Grief Recovery

Many people believe that grief and laughter don’t belong together. After all, when you’re coping with the loss of a loved one, the idea of finding humor during such deep sorrow can feel impossible—or even inappropriate. Yet, research on the relationship between laughter and grief shows that laughter is a natural and beneficial response, even amid sorrow. The healing benefits extend to the body, mind, and spirit, helping to ease the pain.

Why laughter? If laughter is the best medicine, is there anything that cannot be eased by using it? When grieving, several common symptoms arise. The immune system is often suppressed, yet research suggests that laughter can boost immune function. Many individuals also experience difficulty concentrating after the death of a loved one. This temporary lack of focus can actually serve as a protective mechanism, allowing the enormity of the loss to sink in gradually. This process may take weeks, months, or even years, but it is a natural part of grieving. In the meantime, many find themselves relying on Post-it notes or lists to complete simple tasks. Laughter can aid brain function and memory retention, reducing stress and providing momentary relief from sadness. As humorist Erma Bombeck once said, "If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it."

Many people find that laughter brings comfort after losing a loved one. In a recent study, our team explored the relationship between laughter and grief through a survey of over 400 individuals. One participant shared, "Laughter lifts the heavy burden of loss, even if only for a few minutes. It is a wonderful respite." Telling stories about a loved one helps many cope with their absence. Others have developed a personal Humor Plan of Action (HPOA), intentionally incorporating laughter into their daily routine. This could involve reading comics, watching a favorite sitcom or movie, or searching for their favorite comedian on YouTube. Some respondents used gallows humor to lighten difficult moments. One woman, upon visiting her mother’s grave and noticing cracked and parched soil, turned to her brother and quipped, "It looks like Mom is trying to get out to get her cigarettes."

Of course, not everyone finds laughter easy after a loss. Some may want to laugh but struggle to find anything funny. Others may feel guilty for experiencing happiness again. One woman found that those around her stopped offering comfort because they misinterpreted her laughter as a sign that she was fine. Grieving is often filled with contradictions.

Fortunately, the benefits of laughter can still be accessed through therapeutic laughter—laughing for no reason. The brain does not require an external stimulus to produce the sound of laughter. Try laughing for thirty seconds or a minute right now. Close your eyes and experiment with different sounds—chuckle, giggle, or tee-hee. Do you feel better? If a doctor offered a prescription that lifted moods, boosted the immune system, enhanced concentration, and reduced stress—all at no cost—wouldn’t you take it? That is the gift of laughter.

There is no one who would want their loved ones to remain miserable forever. If you are seeking permission to smile and laugh again, think of it as a path to healing. Perhaps you can start by recalling funny stories about your loved one, looking at old photos, or watching home videos. It may involve spending time with friends and family, reconnecting with joy, even if only temporarily. Grief encompasses a wide range of emotions—laughter, anger, guilt, joy, tears, and bitterness. Each has its place, but it is important not to dwell too long in any one emotion. Identify what you are feeling and visit that neighborhood, but don’t build your house on Anger Alley or Offended Lane. Also, recognize that guilt often accompanies joy in the grieving process.

Just as grief is experienced differently by each person, so too is humor and laughter. The role they play in your healing journey is a personal choice. By understanding the restorative power of laughter, you can begin to appreciate its value as a coping tool. Whether you engage in spontaneous laughter or develop a full Humor Plan of Action, I encourage you to smile, chuckle, and laugh. You may find that laughter and tears can coexist, each playing a part in your path to healing.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Feel Better Now: A Simple 6-Step Guide to Healing After a Loss

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 13:55:31 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart
Feel Better Now: A Simple 6-Step Guide to Healing After a Loss

I have spent years studying and sharing healing techniques to help ease the daily pain that accompanies loss. Although coping with grief may feel overwhelming, these 6 tools can offer emotional support, provide comfort, and help you rebuild hope after heartache.

Here are six steps to help you navigate grief and make it through each day:

Rally the Troops
Reach out to family and friends—let them know what has happened. Their love and support will sustain you. Their calls, messages, and presence can help you get through not just the day, but even the next few minutes. Tell them what you need, and be willing to forgive any well-meaning but unhelpful advice. Accept their words as coming from a place of love, then let them go.
Check In with Yourself
Ask yourself throughout the day, “How am I feeling at this moment?” Tune in to your emotions—not what you think you should feel, but what you truly feel. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and listen to your heart. You may be surprised to find moments of peace or even joy amid the sorrow. Grief isn’t constant heaviness; allowing yourself to acknowledge lighter moments can be healing. When people grieve, they tend to shut down. They stuff their feelings and wear a mask. There is a perception that others don’t want to witness our pain, so it is simpler to just act as if we are okay. This can be exhausting both physically and mentally. By getting back in touch with your feelings, it allows you to “check in” and understand where you are at.
Breathe
The simplest way to center yourself and reduce anxiety is through deep breathing. Shallow “stress breathing” moves only the upper chest, while deep belly breathing engages the diaphragm, calming the nervous system. Take slow, full breaths, focusing on the inhale and exhale. Let each breath bring you into the present moment, free from past regrets or future worries.
Write it Out
Journaling allows you to release emotions and process thoughts. Write freely—no need to edit or censor yourself. Document your memories, pain, and daily experiences. Write down your thoughts about the future. As time passes, looking back on older entries can reveal the progress you’ve made. Words are powerful tools for healing, and putting your feelings on paper can lighten your emotional load.
Laugh Daily
Laughter reduces stress, boosts your immune system, gets your brain working, and lifts your mood. Watch a funny show, listen to a comedian, or spend time with lighthearted friends. Even if you don’t feel like laughing, do it anyway, fake laughter can still trigger real benefits. It’s impossible to be both anxious and laughing at the same time, so embrace joy, even in small moments.
Engage in Your Passions
Doing something you love helps diminish pain. While some activities may carry bittersweet memories, engaging in them can still bring comfort. When you are “in the zone” time stops and things flow. If you’re unsure what sparks joy for you, explore new interests. Make a list of things that uplift you—reading, nature walks, gardening, time with pets or grandchildren. These passions form your personal “spiritual toolbox” to draw from in difficult moments.

Believe it or not, joy is still within reach. These six simple practices can help reconnect you with inner happiness. No matter where you are on your grief journey, you can take small steps toward healing. Connect with others, embrace your emotions, breathe deeply, write, laugh, and live. As James Russell Lowell said, “Joy comes, grief goes, we know not how.”

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Bandages for Your Heart - Making Cents of it All: Using Small Acts of Kindness to Find Healing After Loss

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 20:21:04 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Making Cents of it All: Using Small Acts of Kindness to Find Healing After Loss

I read an article about a grief support group being held in an all-boys high school. At a time of life when their greatest worry should be acne, girlfriends and homework, these boys all were struggling with the death of a parent. The very people we take for granted will be there for us when we get home from school or across the dinner table at night, had tragically left this world too soon. These young men who had to hold it together all day, were able to be vulnerable and show their sorrow, their fears and their anger at what had happened to them in their life. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs or other unhealthy crutches to handle the pain, they turned to one another. Teachers would come each month to the group and share their own stories of loss, many of their stories mirrored what their students were dealing with. They saw their teachers as vulnerable, as parentless children now grown up; they saw them as human beings with a wounded heart like their own. Over pizza and chocolate chip cookies, these young men journeyed together through their grief. Over shared words and understood pain, they healed. They also were challenged to do one thing every day… use three cents.

Three pennies was the cost of this valuable lesson and it is one we can all put into our own lives. They were instructed to take three pennies and put them in their pocket. Throughout the day they were challenged to make a difference to someone, to offer a kindness or help them in some way. Each time they completed this task, they were to take one penny and put it in their other pocket. By the end of the day the goal was to have all three cents safely harbored in the opposite pocket from which it began. The challenge began all over again the next morning.

Transforming pain into purpose. For these young men it came from reaching out to others. Grief can be isolating. How we are feeling is not easily understood by others. By reaching out of our own pain, we connect with other people and begin to heal. The loss becomes a little more bearable when the experience turns into a way to reach out to others with a new understanding, a more compassionate outlook and a desire to help another person in some small way.

But what about the other side of this equation…how good are you at receiving? Life is about balance and it is just as important that you are a good “receiver” and not just a good “giver.” Throw out the old adage: ‘tis better to give than to receive . You must do both. Can you ask for help when you need it? Many people struggle with this and do not like to ask for help. They are like the two-year old in the “me do” stage. They can do it all themselves, even if it is a bit of a struggle. If this sounds like you, read on for a reason to stop the old habit of “me do” and begin to allow the “yes, thank you” into your life.

Research has shown that when a person receives a kindness, their serotonin levels rise, making them feel good. The person who offers the kindness, their levels rise as well. Remarkably anyone who witnesses that kindness also has an upswing in their serotonin levels. The ripple effect of a kindness offered and received continues on. In fact, those people who received or witnessed a kindness were more likely to offer one to someone else that day. “Pay it forward” in action. Yet if you don’t allow someone to help you, you are depriving so many from the benefit of the kind action. “Me do” must make way for “you do for me” in order for this chain reaction to begin. Give and take, offer and receive, from one kindness to another. Take another three pennies and use them to mark each time you allow someone to help you. From pocket to pocket, person to person, the pennies are merely touchstones to remind us that our lives are enriched when we make “cents” out of our day.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Grief is Like a Marathon: Understanding the Journey of Loss

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 20:21:03 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Grief is Like a Marathon: Understanding the Journey of Loss

On mile 23 my legs were ready to admit defeat. Mentally I was still focused on crossing that finish line, but my body was weary in the heat of the day. Walking 26.2 miles is not an easy feat, especially when you are out of shape and overweight. While I trained for this day, nothing prepares you for the actual event. By mile 11 I had already learned that mental attitude was far more important than physical training. I witnessed people talk themselves out of the race. “I will just rest for a while and then continue,” they would say. They caught the next bus back to the finish line. My feet hurt and I have the wrong socks and it is hot and my leg is cramping…. excuse after excuse after excuse. Not one of them reached their goal and finished the race. I did…. twice. Once in Jamaica and once in Oregon. I am looking forward to training for one again. Walking those marathons changed my life.

I spoke about my experience to a grief support group recently. Grief can feel like walking that marathon. It is a long journey and one that you can never be totally prepared for. There are others on the path that support you and encourage you to just make it a bit further. They set the pace and keep you going. There are others who get stuck where they are and never seem to find their way. They continue to grieve deeply years later. Their life does not move forward. Time continues, but they hold on to the past.

Grief is not only a physical journey; it is an emotional and mental one as well. Thoughts repeat and send you a message that does not always make you feel better. Fear, sadness, regret, remorse, guilt, pain and anxiety may seem to be the theme of what occupies your thoughts each day. None of these eases your pain. By changing your thoughts, you can begin to make progress towards healing. Become a survivor by acknowledging those small steps you take. For one person that could be mowing the lawn for the first time. For another, it might be grocery shopping without tears when you pass by your loved one’s favorite food. Each small success is a moment to savor. It is an indicator that you will survive. That you can do more than you ever thought you could. That inside of you is a strength that you may have never called upon before, but now that you need it, it is there to carry you through.

There is one major difference between a marathon and the journey of grief. I could mark my progress by each mile marker. 26.2 miles and I was finished -medal around my neck and heading back to the hotel, proud of my accomplishment. There is not a finish line to cross for grief. There is no cheering crowd or end point to aim for. It may feel like you are wandering aimlessly, and this can lead to you giving up hope that life will ever be sweet again. We are a goal-oriented society and unprepared for a challenge that has no set steps or guideposts. How can we measure progress on a journey without an end? How do we avoid feeling hopeless and helpless? How might we harness inner strength when we have no energy to even make it through the day?

Three things to keep in mind:

There may be no finish line, but the journey is taking you somewhere. You have the choice to just drift or to guide your path. You can join a grief support group, read books on grieving, get involved in new activities, start to take care of yourselves (even to the point of a little bit of pampering) or even just breathe when you are feeling overwhelmed. Remember that, while you did not choose this to happen, you can choose how you handle it. Are you ready to take action or are you content to just wallow and give up?
Celebrate each step of forward progress. Recognize when you do something that was difficult to accomplish. If you learn how to pay the bills, change a light bulb or take a trip alone, acknowledge that this was a moment to savor. Mixed emotions may accompany these times, but you did it…or at least you tried. Success is not always measured in completing a task, but in getting started. Taking that first step is always the hardest one. Once you do that, the rest of the way will open to you.
There are no medals for surviving a loss but never doubt that you are a winner. Each time you reach out in understanding to someone else in pain, you win. Every laugh, smile and happy moment you share with others, you win. When you give back in your loved one’s honor, you win. When you share a memory of a time spent together or look at their photo and feel love, not pain, you win. When you start to accept your “new” life and begin to see all that is yet for you to do, you win.

Step by step, slowly and steadily you find yourself moving along. Life begins to find its rhythm and you start to dream of things yet to be, once again. The journey of grief has no time clock, no finish line to cross and no medals to display, but it does have one thing that a marathon does not...you are not walking alone. Your loved one accompanies you every step of the way.

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Holiday Service of Remembrance 2020

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 03:08:00 GMT

From all of us at Molthen-Bell, we're pleased to offer this virtual Service of Remembrance for families who have lost a loved one this year or in times gone by. The holidays can be an especially challenging time for making sense of loss or coping with grief. However, it's through our memories, a deep sense of respect, and love, that our loved one's live on.

Our service was produced with the safety of the entire community in mind. We hope that this vigil will help bring a measure of peace and fulfilment to you and your family this holiday season.
We sincerely wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and yours.
If we can be of assistance to you or other members or your family, never hesitate to reach out to us for advice or support. We care.

Challenger Baseball: Making Young People and their Parents Proud

Tue, 01 Oct 2019 23:12:00 GMT

Molthen-Bell's Pam Bierbach helps make sure children with unique challenges get to make plays -- and memories -- to last them a lifetime.

Sharing the unique qualities and friendships of being on a team, bonding around the challenges of the sport, and making memories that will serve them as they grow up.

It’s no secret that children with disabilities often face barriers to participating in organized team sports. These young people -- and in many respects their parents as well -- typically miss out on experiences and lifelong friendships that other sports families may take for granted.

The realization occurred to Molthen-Bell administrator, Pam Bierbach, who found an avenue to support young people through Challenger Baseball.

“They have eight games over the course of the summer. They each get a 'helper' to guide them around the bases, bat, throw and so on. It is the most amazing thing to watch,” Bierbach said.

Challenger Baseball brings America's national pastime to willing participants, no matter their limitations. These leagues, forged through the partnerships with local Little League organizations, are making the aspirations of special needs children a reality.

Bierbach added that parents of participants are given the chance to see their kids race down a field, catch a ball, and be a part of a team, something that otherwise seems impossible for many of these children.

“Not only is Challenger Baseball offering confidence to these incredibly determined young kids,” Bierbach said. “It provides huge amounts of hope and pride for their parents, too.”

The Challenger program is special. Each game is adapted to levels of skills, adding to the inclusion, which is the most important part. The program also offers children the chance to walk onto a playing field on the biggest stage, Major League Baseball , right here in Milwaukee.

Challenger ball player from team Molthen-Bell walks onto the Milwaukee Brewers ' baseball field at Miller Park .

Seeing the positive impact Challenger Baseball has on the members of her community, Bierbach encouraged Molthen-Bell to sponsor a team, which afforded them matching jerseys and a season’s supply of baseballs.

With this season coming to a close, Bierbach looks forward to partnering with the organization again. In her words, “Just to see the look on their parents' faces when they make a play.”

Reggie "The Crusher" Lisowski: Hero to South Milwaukee Rises Up

Wed, 19 Jun 2019 04:10:00 GMT

Molthen-Bell staff in awe of the enormous turnout for Crusherfest. Statue sponsorship and unveiling defies all expectations for the "blue collar" professional wrestler, who died in 2005.

The verdict is in: Crusherfest was an enormous success. Few could be happier than the staff at Molthen-Bell, who took a special interest the memorialization of a local legend.

Molthen-Bell handled the funeral of the iconic wrestler back in 2005. For senior staffers John Klein, Corey Stephens and Jeff Bell, it had a galvanizing effect. They grew up in awe of the Crusher, what he represented, and his antics in and out of the ring.

Lisowski died of a brain tumour at the age of 79.

[Read the Washington Post's Obituary: Reggie "The Crusher" Lisowski Dies ]

Organizers and city officials anticipated approximately 5,000 people to join in the celebration of "The Wrestler Who Made Milwaukee Famous."

Updated estimates put the crowd at over 12,000, many of whom were on hand for the highly publicized unveiling and street festival dubbed Crusherfest .

As a gesture of community and good will, Molthen-Bell staff handed out 4,000 boxes of complimentary popcorn during the two-day event.

"The ceremony was touching and beautiful," John Klein, general manager of Molthen-Bell, said. "Many expressed thanks to Molthen-Bell in their speeches during the presentation, and that made us feel incredible."

Last year, Molthen-Bell & Son Funeral Home pledged $10,000 to the statue initiative, which was conceived and championed by Chris Smith, a local lawyer. Smith's website, dacrusher.org , and his GoFundMe page continue to raise awareness.

"Members of the Lisowski family approached Corey and me several times," Klein said. "They thanked us and shared how they remember everything we did for them for both of their parents' funerals."

At Molthen-Bell, we believe we are all made stronger with the support of family and friends. That our community binds us in faith, service and common understanding. And that our stories hold the promise of bringing together generations for years to come. Browse our website or contact us to learn more.

St. Patrick's Day: Safe Ride Home on Us

Wed, 13 Mar 2019 20:55:00 GMT

Molthen-Bell partners with Moran's Pub to offer St. Paddy's Day patrons a complimentary ride home. Have fun and get home safe!

We're pleased to announce an exciting partnership with Moran's Pub in South Milwaukee for this upcoming St. Patrick's Day celebration. On March 17th, Molthen-Bell will be providing patrons of Moran's with free rides home during the hours of 12 noon and 10 pm.

"We are thrilled to be able to support our community," said Pam Bierbach , administrative assistant at Molthen-Bell & Son Funeral Home. "We appreciate the festivities on behalf of the Irish community and others who enjoy celebrating St. Patrick's Day. We just wanted to provide a no-strings-attached transportation solution for patrons of the pub."

Molthen-Bell intends to commission Uber drivers to provide customers with up to 40 rides to their homes in South Milwaukee, St. Francis, Oak Creek and Cudahy. Customers who attend are encouraged to speak to James in order secure a specially generated promo code to cover the cost.

Molthen-Bell is a community-minded, end-of-life care provider. Understanding and telling the life stories of our families, friends and citizens, and remembering their impact is of primary importance to us and the families we serve.

"Enjoy St. Paddy's Day, drink responsibly, and take the ride home on us," Bierbach said. "Life is too precious to be involved in some needless mishap."

At Molthen-Bell, we genuinely believe we are all made stronger with the support of family and friends. That our community binds us in faith, service and common understanding. And that our stories hold the promise of bringing together generations for years to come. We care. To learn more about our community relations initiatives, feel free to contact us .

Collaboration in Kindness: Making Christmas a Little More Special

Tue, 18 Dec 2018 17:18:00 GMT

In Her Own Words: Molthen-Bell administrator Pam Bierbach talks candidly about two amazing groups of people coming together to fulfill each other's holiday wishes.

The Special Needs Breakfast is an event that the Oak Creek High School initiated some years ago.

A lot of these families don't venture out with their kids to the malls or city events because it can become an issue. People stare, people don't understand if these little ones get anxious and can't wait their turn for Santa.

So my best friend, who runs the Oak Creek Community Center , asked us women for help.

She created a morning event where kids can come see Santa, run around if they want, enjoy making crafts, mail letters to Santa and listen to the Oak Creek High School choir.

With donations from Molthen-Bell and other local service groups, it has become quite a bit bigger than in the past, and due to this generosity, all the kids actually got a present from Santa this year.

It's such a good feeling and I am blessed to be part of the greatest group of women in the world.

Some parents come up to us, cry, thank us for volunteering so they can relax and not feel that anyone is watching their kids act out.

After the kids leave, we clean up, cry and feel good that we can do this for them.

It's Official: We've Got Curb Appeal!

Fri, 14 Sep 2018 01:42:00 GMT

Coveted South Milwaukee Beautification Award goes to Molthen-Bell

We're pleased to announce that earlier this week, Molthen-Bell & Son Funeral Home was singled out for a South Milwaukee Curb Appeal Award.

The 100-year-old funeral service provider has been a cornerstone of steady support in the South Milwaukee community, helping families and demonstrating civic good will as well.

The awards are presented annually to South Milwaukee businesses, homeowners and civic organizations who devote extra effort to their property’s beautification, through landscaping and other street-facing efforts.
"At first we were a bit surprised by the announcement," Colette Maass, the office manager at Molthen-Bell, admitted. "We've made a real commitment to South Milwaukee, we love it here. However, it's not every day you win an award for doing just a little extra to make the community better." Maass went on to say that real kudos belong to JoAnn Brockman. "It is almost entirely through her effort and ideas each spring that Molthen-Bell transforms itself and its gardens into an award-winning contender," Maass said. The recipients of the Beautification Awards are selected by the Beautification Committee in early August. The awards are nomination-based, with participants being solicited using Facebook and an online form . Up to five winners receive a sign and recognition at a city council meeting or on city or mayoral digital platforms.
Other South Milwaukee businesses, civic groups and homeowners are encouraged to visit the City of South Milwaukee's Awards page to learn more about upcoming honors and participating in the initiatives. Our Mission Molthen-Bell believes we are all made stronger with the support of family and friends, that our community binds us in faith, service and understanding, and that our stories hold the promise of bringing together generations for years to come. We care. To learn more about Molthen-Bell & Son Funeral Home, we encourage you to browse our website or call us at (414) 762-0154 .

Summer of Molthen-Bell: We Care

Thu, 23 Aug 2018 17:48:00 GMT

Bringing a little goodwill to our communities all summer long

You've probably been busy this summer, but so have we!

Staff at Molthen-Bell have been on the go during the hot and hazy days of July and August, connecting with folks during a number of community events in South Milwaukee, Cudahy and Oak Creek .

"It's just one of the ways we show our citizens that we're involved and that we care about what happens here," said John Klein , the general manager of Molthen-Bell.

Molthen-Bell has been a member of the local business community for over 100 years , but its role is more intimate and personal than most businesses.

"We get to know families really well, and it's important to feel like you're in good hands," Klein said.

Molthen-Bell sees itself as a champion of life stories that reflect our citizens' character and their contributions in South Milwaukee and surrounding communities.

"Obviously, we provide a dedicated service, but at the heart of our operation is a group of caring professionals who are real people, good people," Klein said. "We live and work in these communities, and we believe it's important to give back to them."

Molthen-Bell believes we are all made stronger with the support of family and friends, that our community binds us in service and understanding, and that our stories hold the promise of bringing together past and future generations for years to come. We care.

Molthen-Bell Contributes $10,000 to Help Immortalize The Crusher

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 00:00:00 GMT

South Milwaukee’s most famous native son just got one step closer to achieving the kind of immortal greatness often reserved for war generals.

Molthen-Bell & Son Funeral Home on Thursday donated $10,000 to an initiative dedicated to erecting a statue of Hall of Fame professional wrestler Reggie Lisowski, better known as The Crusher.

The blond-haired, blued-eye buff Polish athlete worked from the 1940s until the 1980s, and was admired by tens of thousands of fans around the country and in Canada. However, none were more supportive than the place from which he came.

Lisowski grew up and made his home in South Milwaukee, and his wrestling persona lionized the blue-collar worker. He died in 2005 at the age of 79, but he is in no way forgotten. Proudly, his funeral services were performed by Molthen-Bell & Son.

Fans still flock to his grave at Holy Sepulcher Cemetery in Cudahy. However, one fan, Chris Smith , a 39-year-old lawyer, thinks Lisowski deserves a more fitting tribute – a bronze statue of “Da Crusher” on Milwaukee Avenue.

“We knew Da Crusher, grew up with him in this community, and he made us proud,” said John Klein, general manager of Molthen-Bell Funeral Home. “We’re never going to forget him, and the statue will be a reminder of the come-uppance of the common man.”

Smith, who seems too young to be a fan, added in his own gravelly imitation, “Stereotypical Milwaukee guy, a factory worker, a bricklayer. I'm strong. I'm tough. I'm blue collar. I drink beer. I do the polka.”

Klein immediately liked the idea and put his company’s support behind it. The $40,000 funding goal for the statue is now on track, with municipal regulatory hurdles and design considerations up next.

Molthen-Bell has family and business roots that span more than a century in South Milwaukee. As a pillar of the community, the funeral home often looks for ways to work with local organizations, charities and families to make life better for area residents.

For more info, please call (414) 762-0154 . We serve South Milwaukee, Oak Creek, Cudahy, St. Francis and Wind Point.

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Challenger Baseball: Making Young People and their Parents Proud

Molthen-Bell's Pam Bierbach helps make sure children with unique challenges get to make plays -- and memories -- to last them a lifetime.

Reggie "The Crusher" Lisowski: Hero to South Milwaukee Rises Up

Molthen-Bell staff in awe of the enormous turnout for Crusherfest. Statue sponsorship and unveiling defies all expectations for the "blue collar" professional wrestler, who died in 2005.

St. Patrick's Day: Safe Ride Home on Us

Molthen-Bell partners with Moran's Pub to offer St. Paddy's Day patrons a complimentary ride home. Have fun and get home safe!

Collaboration in Kindness: Making Christmas a Little More Special

In Her Own Words: Molthen-Bell administrator Pam Bierbach talks candidly about two amazing groups of people coming together to fulfill each other's holiday wishes.

It's Official: We've Got Curb Appeal!

Coveted South Milwaukee Beautification Award goes to Molthen-Bell

Summer of Molthen-Bell: We Care

Bringing a little goodwill to our communities all summer long

Molthen-Bell Contributes $10,000 to Help Immortalize The Crusher

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